12/1/06:
If you like gratuitous fucking and shitting OR decent retro electronica beats, Fatherfucker might be for you. The ultimate ‘lady with a beard’ album, Merrill Beth Nisker (aka Peaches), talks about having hermaphrodite envy (not dick envy) because let’s face it, “there is so much male and female in us all".

Peaches is most recognized by her 2000 cult hit “Fuck the Pain Away.” She seems to have successfully collaborated with a number of who’s who in the industry too. I define success as being able to get anyone to sing, “Eat a cookie and a big dick everyday. Eat a cookie and a big clit everyday” with you.

Obviously the lyrics aren’t inspiring, except to those who really want to
“Shake Yer Dix,” but some of the beats are dance-a-tronic. Peaches put out an album that is a good abdominal workout, either by dancing or laughing at the monotonous lyrics.

8/31/26:
The Flaming Lips’ front man, Wayne Coyne, leads with his trimmed grey cheek hair in tact. Over the last 11 full-length albums they have slowly built an animal costumed and balloon party following. Good ol’ grey beard is hitting mid-life crisis, but with age comes maturity? Not in this case, their music is ever waiting for the pulse of the Youth to catch up with them. For over 2 decades someone in the group (usually Coyne and Ivins) has quit buying razors and grown facial hair.

To some people’s dismay, the voice and the beard don’t go together. As one of my friends put it after seeing them live, “Damn, he sounded hot, but he just looks old!” And then I’m sure there’s another group of young ladies looking for the unrequited love of their absent fathers, who find The Flaming Lips sexy and inviting. I, however, think it’s only befitting that they have continually used cartoons to illustrate their covers because they are getting’ old m’friends.

For all of you who purchased Clouds Taste Metallic because you thought the previous album containing ‘She Don’t Use Jelly’ was a masterpiece – YOU WERE WRONG! And quit trying to sell it back to your nearest used CD store, they don’t need anymore copies! What you need to do is take your in-store credit and get The Soft Bulletin or Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots instead.

I haven’t heard the latest, At War with the Mystics, but my ears are burning…

6/26/26:
George Michael left his clean-shaven, boyish looks in the Board Room with the Executives once he left Wham! While “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” is a bop-your-head ditty – it certainly is not any of the songs on the bearded and beloved Faith album. As the beard gets sharper you get a sense of where George wants to go with his music too. His turn of the century, penciled and chiseled, S&M mouth hair is definitely a departure from the more societal and temperamental five o’clock shadow that had all the female professionals of the late 80’s/early 90’s world gasping for a Father Figure. Although, “everybody wants a lover like that” I like the bad-boy in the bathroom, electronic sequin urinal George and wouldn’t trade it for the world.